Get ready for a short one.

Uwe Boll directed.

Not sure what that means? He directed Bloodrayne and House of the Dead.

Not good enough for you guys? Burt Reynolds plays a king in medieval times.

That’s all I got because, unfortunately, he didn’t let Kristanna Loken get naked this time. That might have saved this movie.

I’ve almost never done this but 0 Jessicas out of 4. My god this movie might be worse than Battlefield: Earth and that’s saying something. See it if you want to laugh at how crappy it is. Honestly, Peter Jackson should be embarrassed by how good his trilogy is. LOTR looks like Citizen f*cking Cain compared to this drivel.

AK
(EK adds. . . .)
I can see the production planning now. That kick *ss guy from the Transporter–CHECK. Relatively attractive blond chick–CHECK. Burt Reynolds–CHECK. Let’s greenlight the F*cker!This movie was bordering on absolutely terrible. However the WORST of it was not a Burt Reynolds one facelift short of having a chin on his forehead. It also wasn’t casting virtually talentless Matthew Lillard as Duke Fallow (although I liked him in Hackers).

The most gut-wrenching, bile-inducing decision made by the casting director was to place bad boy Ray Liotta as an evil wizard. Ray looked like a reject from an 80’s tv sitcom, with black feathered hair and his mafioso delivery.

Uwe Boll should have to pay a fine for directing this stinker. . . .

(AK piles on…)
My question about this is: How does this guy keep getting financing for this crap? I mean is there really that much money to be tossed around? If so, tell me where it is. Someone could pay me the same amount of money to film myself taking a deuce and I bet it draws a bigger audience. Or at least better reviews.AK

2 Comments so far »

  1.  

    Administrator said

    January 24 2008 @ 6:23 am

    I can see the production planning now. That kick *ss guy from the Transporter–CHECK. Relatively attractive blond chick–CHECK. Burt Reynolds–CHECK. Let’s greenlight the F*cker!

    This movie was bordering on absolutely terrible. However the WORST of it was not a Burt Reynolds one facelift short of having a chin on his forehead. It also wasn’t casting virtually talentless Matthew Lillard as Duke Fallow (although I liked him in Hackers).

    The most gut-wrenching, bile-inducing decision made by the casting director was to place bad boy Ray Liotta as an evil wizard. Ray looked like a reject from an 80’s tv sitcom, with black feathered hair and his mafioso delivery.

    Uwe Boll should have to pay a fine for directing this stinker. . . .

  2.  

    FlamingDP said

    January 28 2008 @ 4:11 am

    My question about this is: How does this guy keep getting financing for this crap? I mean is there really that much money to be tossed around? If so, tell me where it is. Someone could pay me the same amount of money to film myself taking a deuce and I bet it draws a bigger audience. Or at least better reviews.

    AK

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