Does anyone else think that Paris Hilton gets FAR more attention than she needs or deserves? I mean, if you’re into plastic surgery, artificial breasts and inflated ego, she’s the one; but I find myself underwhelmed by her, and amazed at the amount of attention that this bleach-blonde bimbo seems to receive. In this ad for Devassa beer (I think the translation from Portuguese means “blonde not known for doing Kegels” or something like that), she seems to be paying far too much attention to a sweating beer can. And what’s up with the eyelid?

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I remember a few years ago I discovered a picture of Pamela Anderson before the bleaching, breast enlargement and overall plastic reconstruction. I was struck by how beautiful she was. It led me to question the very nature of our definitions of beauty–when someone who is actually beautiful in a girl-next-door kind of fashion feels that she has to increase the size of this, change the color of that, thin out this, thicken that. We live in a crazy world.

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Regretfully, this is not the exact picture that I am referring to (in the picture I saw, her hair was brown), but the point is made.

But back to Paris Hilton. This woman has reached the pinnacle of narcissism and media manipulation when an argument about a television commercial in Brazil with her arguably “accomodating” a beer car can garner so much attention (don’t read too much into that sentence–the commercial is not as good as you might think).

We need better definitions of beauty, so that our daughters, sisters, and wives don’t think that we would all prefer—this. . . . .

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Ahhhhhh. I knew if I waited long enough the truth would be revealed. Tom Cruise was actually the model for Martin Short’s classic Ed Grimley.

Notice the same vacant smile. The same tendency to shift package to mid-sternum.

I have to admit, that although I have a strong personal belief that the simple existence of the “science” of Dianetics and the Church of Scientology went a long way toward proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has a sense of humor—-this particular photo helps my case considerably.

Please see my post below, “Mel Gibson Hates Puppets”.

EK

I Secretly Love Anne Hathaway

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What can I say, I secretly love Anne Hathaway. While my two daughters are enjoying the sappy plot and silly conversations that make up the movie Ella Enchanted, all I can think is how interesting her gorgeous red lipstick is and how brown her gorgeous eyes are. . . . While my wife is laughing at Steve Carrell in Get Smart, all I can do is stare at Anne Hathaway’s long legs.

My wife and I each have our list. You know, the list that each spouse keeps that allows the other to have a torrid one night affair with a given moviestar without repercussion. Kind of odd, but Johnny Depp is on both my wife’s list and my own. I’m not sure what that means. . . .

Anyway–Anne, you’re on my list. . . .Email me your phone number if you’re game. . . .

EK

Mel Gibson Hates Puppets

After years of eccentric behavior, unusual religious beliefs and downright strangeness, Mel’s current escapades take the cake. When I came across this odd little picture it acted to confirm what I had already strongly believed; Mel Gibson is freakin’ nuts. And a hand up a puppet’s ass simply makes the story that much richer.

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The only actor with less credibility and even crazier religious beliefs is Tom Cruise, whom I will gladly eviscerate when I come across the right incriminating photograph. But I digress.

I wish both of these actors would have the decency to pull a Travolta once in a while and disappear from the public eye so that we might actually WANT to see them again.

For what it’s worth. . . .

EK

The Watchmen

I have to admit that it had been a while since I anticipated a movie as much as I had anticipated the Watchmen.  As with many other nerds of my vintage, Watchmen was a coming of age novel for comic books in general, and for me.  It took the comic book worlds that had preceded it and, frankly, turned them on their respective pompous, spandex-clad asses.

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Imagine a world where superheroes exist.  Where a man can have ultimate power over the life and death of another, and there is very little that can be done to police or stop him if his desires turn out to be more, ahem, human than superhuman.  Such a person could kill with impunity, rape without consequence, steal without repercussion.  In short, the only thing keeping such a being from doing these things is the fine line of a well-developed system of ethics and mores, which most of us simply do not have.

It is precisely because of the part of a superhero that is human that a true superhero would likely turn out to be more of a curse than a blessing.  We cannot expect more of anyone than we could offer of ourselves, and there are not many of us able to deal with omnipotence.  For impotence we have Viagra.  For omnipotence, well. . . .

As with the book, the movie is a very complex work.  And while a comic book lends itself to the ability to flip back to a previous point to review something missed or overlooked the first time around, a movie has to convey all of the information in a linear fashion, with obligatory flash-backs as a way to provide backstory for the main characters.  Because of these interruptions in flow, the movie at times seems to progress in fits and starts.

At times, I found myself wishing that Snyder had kept the movie at its original running time (rumor has it the original edited film ran north of 200 minutes), or that the film had been split into two separate films to allow for better exposition to occur.  In a way, I hope that Snyder will release a “director’s cut” of the film on DVD (as with the Lord of the Rings saga) to provide his vision with more depth.

This movie is not without problems.  While some of the casting is literally awe-inspiring (I particularly liked Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan and Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach), I was not as impressed with Ozymandias and Silk Spectre II (Mathew Goode and Malin Ackerman).

I would grade the book at **** Jessicas out of four and the movie at ***.  I am not certain how any director could have made the book adaptation any better and still been faithful to the original book.
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